Family Secrets Read online

  Jake had to look blank for a moment, until he remembered that Cari had delivered a book last evening. He flushed in embarrassment as he realized that he had been so distracted that he hadn't remembered.

  "Fine, as always Edward. Um…I was wondering if Cari was around?" Jake tried to act nonchalant.

  Edward shook his head. "No. She called me here and said she overslept and wouldn't be in until later. Her mother wanted her to pick out the menu for the wedding reception, and then something about flowers…"

  Jake nodded, trying to ignore the feeling that was suspiciously like a kick in the gut, hearing Edward talk about the wedding. He had forgotten Cari was a bride-to-be last night as he made love to her on his leather couch. Of course, he reminded himself, she appeared to have forgotten her engagement as well. Edward's voice drew him back to the present a few seconds later.

  "Is there something I can help you with, Jake? I'm still researching the book we were talking about the other day."

  Jake shook his head. "No. I was just going to thank Cari. I’ll get going and leave you to your books."

  Edward nodded. "I'll let Cari know you stopped by."

  Jake paused at the front door to the shop. He fought against asking Edward to tell his daughter that her lover had stopped in. He nodded, thanked Edward again, and then left.

  Chapter 3

  Over the next few weeks, Cari felt more confused than ever. She felt like she needed to talk to Jake about that evening, but didn't know how to approach him. She wanted to call off the wedding, but something kept stopping her from spitting out the words. She needed to talk to someone, but other than Lauren, she hadn't confided in anyone.

  Several weeks after her night of passion with Jake, she received a phone call at work from her fiancé. Trying to bury her doubts, she attempted to be perky and care free as they spoke.

  “Hello, Tony! I’m glad you called. I was thinking we could see the new DeNiro movie that just opened.”

  Cari knew that she was feeling overly sensitive since learning about another woman in Tony’s life. Yet she also knew that the pause before Tony answered her was a lot longer than normal.

  “I’m sorry, babe. I just found out that I have to work late tonight, and there is no way I can get out of it. I wish I didn’t have to finish this, but we’ll have to cancel our plans.”

  Cari listened to him silently. It was difficult, but she had held her tongue in cheek as she mildly accepted his words. After telling her father she wasn’t feeling well, and just smiling as he jested about wedding jitters, Cari left work early and rented a car. At home, she dressed in a hat of her mother’s, sunglasses and a big loose fitting jacket of her father’s. Forgetting common sense, Cari knew that she must have answers before she could discover her true feelings. Ignoring that she looked silly and felt like a spy in her incognito disguise, she drove over to Tony’s apartment and waited.

  She followed Tony as he drove his flashy red convertible away from his apartment. When he pulled up to another apartment complex, he honked the horn loudly, which he never did at her house. Cari knew her mother would have had a fit and spoken to her Uncle Sal. Horn honking did not fit with her mother’s idea of the correct way to call for a woman.

  A few moments later, a blonde, who was very slender and poured into a skintight red dress, came teetering out to the car on three-inch high heels. Since the convertible’s top was down, it was quite easy for Cari to observe the passionate kiss the two of them exchanged.

  Cari did pause and wonder why she wasn’t feeling pain, heartache, or worse. She was angry. No, she was pissed at being taken for a fool. Before she could call herself other names, Tony pulled out into the street with an unnecessary squeal of tires. Cari followed them to a couple of bars and then on to a very expensive restaurant. It was past two in the morning when they finally drove back to the woman’s apartment.

  Cari sat silently in her dark car. She should have been surprised, but she wasn't, when she saw Tony put the top up on the car and lock it. He pulled his date close and kissed her eagerly, while his hands roamed wildly over her body. Cari was amazed at the passionate way the two kissed, and even gasped when she saw Tony reach down and grab the blonde woman’s ass. She did note to herself sarcastically that it was nice of them to have parked near a street lamp so she could see them so easily.

  Cari felt her face flush in embarrassment when Tony pulled the woman’s dress up her thighs, and pushed his hand between her legs. And just when Cari thought they had gone about as far as they could in public, she saw Tony jerk the dress down and cup her breast. After kissing hotly for another minute, they walked together to the woman's apartment, stopping and kissing every few feet.

  Cari waited for an hour after the door closed behind them. She finally restarted the car and drove home. She told herself that she should be feeling anger, jealousy, and betrayal…something other than the emptiness she was now experiencing. Cari was surprised that even the anger she had felt earlier had faded away. At some point during the long hours she sat in the car alone, watching, waiting and wondering, she had come to accept that if she had truly loved Tony, then she would feel those emotions.

  After parking the car a short distance down the street from her home, she made her way silently upstairs. Undressing slowly, Cari finally acknowledged that if she had loved Tony, even knowing he didn’t love her, she never would have slept with Jake either. She crawled into her bed that night, not sure what to do. Her life was falling apart around her. Nothing she had believed to be true really was anymore.

  How had she gone from being a plump but happy soon to be bride, to an overweight, crazy woman who was skulking about in disguises and sleeping with men other than her fiancé? Of course, Cari felt compelled to add to the disaster by reminding herself that she was a woman who had been betrayed by her mother, her uncle, and her fiancé. It appeared the only people who weren’t lying to her were her father, and Jake.

  Cari slept in late the next morning. When she was in the kitchen pouring a glass of juice, she happened to glance at the calendar on the wall. There was about three weeks to go until the wedding and it had been… Her glass slid from her numb fingers and crashed to the floor as the dates finally made sense. She felt hot, flushed, still staring in total disbelief at the calendar.

  It was six weeks. She shook her head in bemusement and dread. This couldn't be happening to her, she told herself. Not now when she had all this other stuff going on. Surely God wouldn't be this cruel? Maybe it was just the stress screwing up her body? After all, Cari tried to mollify herself, she had been under a lot of emotional turmoil lately…

  "Carissa! What happened?" Marina rushed into the kitchen, seeing the broken glass on the floor and the large wet area of juice. What surprised her was that Cari wasn't doing anything to clean up the mess. She stepped around her daughter, grabbing paper towels and throwing them down to absorb the juice.

  She picked up some pieces of broken glass, and still Cari hadn't moved. She stood back up and shook Cari, finally getting her attention.

  "Cari! If you aren't going to help clean up this mess, at least step out of the way so I can do it!" Marina shook her head. Cari never made messes like this and then to not clean them up? It had to be the excitement of the upcoming wedding!

  Cari looked down, surprised to see the paper towels and her mother. She had not seen her mother come into the kitchen, nor had she heard her say anything. She went to step back but didn't see the glass on the floor. She sliced her bare foot open, and blood poured out to mingle with the remaining juice.

  From a distance, she heard her mother screaming for her father. Cari didn’t resist when her mother pushed her backwards into a chair. Her mother wrapped one of her matching kitchen towels around the bleeding foot. Cari thought how pissed her mother would be later when she realized that Cari had ruined one of her matching towel sets. Her mother had always had a "thing" about matching towels and keeping a complete set.

  Edward came running into the kit
chen. “What the devil is all this yelling about, Marina?”

  Cari looked up at her father, watching as his eyes widened upon seeing the blood. Edward reached for the phone and dialed 911. Cari didn't really notice the passing of time. Only when the ambulance arrived, and they made her lie down on the litter, did she come out of her stupor. She heard her parents say they would follow as soon as they were dressed.

  In the emergency room, the doctor began asking her questions. “Hello, Evans.” He slowly unwrapped her foot, but quickly took the extra gauze the nurse had been holding and pressed it against the cut. As the nurse took over applying the pressure, the doctor continued. “I’m afraid you definitely need stitches to close this. It looks like there may still be a little glass inside.” He stopped talking as Cari reached for the basin, her insides feeling jumbled and unsteady.

  “What does all this mean?” Cari asked a few seconds later after the false alarm.

  “It looks to me like it would be best if I called in a surgeon. They will put you to sleep for a little while.” He paused and glanced over the notes on Cari’s chart.

  Cari watched him flip through the few pages, wondering what else he was considering. His next words shouldn’t have surprised her as much as they did.

  "Are you pregnant, Evans?"

  Cari cleared her throat, which seemed to startle the young emergency room doctor, since she had answered all the other questions without pause. He raised one eyebrow questioningly. Finally, Cari answered. "Yes, I think I might be. I haven't tested or anything…"

  The young doctor nodded, writing on the clipboard. "All right, well that might change things. I'll have them change the pressure dressing, and we'll get a pregnancy test while we contact a surgeon. He can probably do it under local."

  Cari watched as the doctor walked away. Slowly, she became aware of what it might mean if she were really pregnant. She couldn’t calm her breathing as it sped up. Soon her thoughts were racing as fast as her heart, so it wasn’t the least bit surprising that right after the laboratory technician drew her blood, Cari tossed her cookies.

  * * * * *

  Cari was sitting alone on the terrace, watching the waves wash in across the sand. She hadn’t wanted to go to Salvatore’s home at the ocean to recover, but her mother had insisted. She was getting quite good at hiding her emotions, she realized as she sat there, immersed in her thoughts.

  Listening to the steady crash of the waves, she acknowledged that she was tired of ignoring all the gestures of intimacy that passed between them. Being with the two of them the last few days, it amazed her that for so many years she had missed the level of intimacy that existed between them. Calling herself all kinds of a fool that she had not seen the signs, no matter how subtle, which told the true relationship between the two people she had loved and believed in all of her life. Marina was often seen straightening Sal’s shirt collar, or pressing flat a stubborn cowlick of hair. Nearly every time Sal would hold Marina’s chair, Cari would catch sight of his fingers caressing her mother’s back, neck or hair.

  Stretching out on the long lounge chair, Cari was glad to have the house to herself this afternoon. Her mother and Sal had gone shopping for something and she was so grateful for the peace and quiet, she had encouraged them to go. After nearly two weeks of this threesome, Cari didn’t think she’d be able to keep her mouth shut one more day.

  Just last night, she couldn’t sleep and had come downstairs for something to eat. Hearing something, she’d gone to look outside. Surprise didn’t begin to cover her feelings as she’d seen her mother and uncle in the hot tub. It took a few seconds before she’d realized they were both naked. Feeling sick to her stomach, Cari had hobbled back upstairs. Fighting back nausea and her tortured thoughts, Cari struggled to fall asleep.

  It had to be the rhythmic crashing of the waves that helped her make the decision. Tomorrow was her appointment to have the stitches removed. At breakfast tomorrow, she’d ask Sal if she could take the car and go by herself. The time away from all the lies would do her good.

  * * * * *

  “I thought I would drive into the hospital alone.”

  Marina voiced her opinion immediately. “Carissa it is too far for you to drive there. It is too soon. Sal and I will take you.”

  “I can understand if you don’t trust me with your Caddy, Uncle Sal, but I think it would be good for me to do this. It’s been two weeks.” She added, hoping that would sway things her way. She watched as her mother whispered to Salvatore, and he finally agreed. From the look on his face though, Cari guessed that he was more concerned for his car than for her ability to drive. Cari didn’t blame him for not trusting her with his fancy Cadillac.

  “I promise if I’m too tired I’ll take a nap at home or call one of my friends and spend the night. Don’t worry, Mother. Everything will be fine.”

  “All right, darling. You have our cell phone numbers if you need to reach us.”

  Cari watched as her mother patted Sal’s knees, supposedly under the cover of the tablecloth. Her nerves were shot from all the tension she was feeling. It was tearing her apart, living in this web of lies. Up until the accident, it had been easy to stick her head in the sand, pretending nothing had changed. Now she knew that she couldn’t live a life of deception, as the others had and continued to do every day. There was no more living in denial because she was going to be a mother herself in a little over seven months. She owed it to herself and her child to face facts.

  * * * * *

  Cari drove without incident to the hospital and had the stitches removed. She heard the doctor's instructions, nodding her head, but not really listening to his words. After she left the hospital, she sat in the car for some time. She had told her mother she would be back in time for a late lunch.

  She finally switched on the ignition, intending to start for Sal’s house, but instead drove around aimlessly for a while. Cari should have been surprised, but deep down she wasn’t at all shocked to find the car stopped in Jake's circular driveway a short time later. She limped to the front door and rang the bell. She was taken aback when an older man, impeccably dressed in a suit and tie, answered the door.

  After a few moments, Cari got past her surprise, and embarrassment that it wasn’t Jake, and she was able to ask if Hall was home. She wasn't sure whether to breathe a sigh of relief, or to take off running, when the man told her that Hall was in the library. She let herself be escorted there. It was very hard not to let her gaze go to the leather sofa upon entering the room.

  Jake looked up as his butler announced a visitor. He stood when he saw Cari hovering nervously beside the other man.

  "Cari," Jake called out, surprised that he was almost shouting. He moved towards her swiftly, stopping when he saw her bandaged foot. “John, could you have Mary fix us some light lunch and tea?”

  “Of course, sir,” John murmured, and then closed the heavy double doors behind himself.

  Cari immediately started to protest but Jake stopped her. “You look hungry, and I am hungry. Let me take care of you, honey.” The pet name slipped out before Jake realized that he had even been thinking of Cari as his “honey” for quite some time. Jake wrapped his arm around her waist and shepherded her over to the sofa.

  Cari sat down gingerly. Jake was aware of her watching him as he sat also, but kept several feet distance between them. The glance at him was for only a moment or two.

  "I hope you don't mind me dropping in on you, unannounced and all…" She folded her hands in her lap.

  "No, not at all. I'm glad you came by. I…uhm, did your father tell you I stopped by one day, a while back?" Jake turned sideways on the sofa, resting his arm along the top.

  Cari shook her head. “No, he didn’t say a word.” She rubbed her fingers against one temple. “You came to order another book? I am sorry that I missed you then."

  Jake nodded, but deliberately added a few words to set her straight. “I came into the shop on the pretense of researching another book.
Let me put it this way, Cari.” He held her eyes. “I came to the shop to see you, and when you weren’t there, that’s what I told your father. I did ask him to let you know I had stopped by.” Pointing to her foot, he continued. "What happened?"

  Cari flushed brightly. "I dropped a glass and then stepped on the broken pieces. You would think I had dropped my brain and not just a glass."

  Jake leaned forward and his hand, which had been resting along the sofa back, moved to lightly touch her shoulder and then her neck. "Are you okay? How badly was it damaged?"

  Cari turned and smiled at Jake. He could tell she was nervous by the way her fingers were knotting and fisting in the material of her skirt. "I'm fine, really. I just came from the hospital, where they took the stitches out. I have to be careful for awhile, but otherwise…" She broke off as the butler returned with the elaborate silver tea tray.

  Jake nodded. "Thanks, John. You can have the rest of the day off, if you wish. Same for Mary, as well."

  John, the perfect butler, nodded once and left the room. Jake smiled a little. Although neither husband nor wife had shown the least sign, Jake believed they both knew that one night there had been a guest in the house. Since that night, or more specifically since his waking up alone, Jake had been like a bear with a sore thumb. He knew that he was often in a foul mood, or distracted. Jake was also sure that John had probably guessed this young lady was the reason. There was no doubt in his mind that John would quite happily high tail it back to the kitchen to tell Mary.

  Jake poured tea for them both, and then filled a plate to overflowing with small sandwiches, crackers, cut vegetables and fruit. He handed it to Cari, smiling.

  Cari took the plate. “I think you have overestimated the size of my stomach. I doubt I’ll be able to eat half of the food on this plate.”

  Jake watched her as she did start eating, sipping her tea in between bites. Jake easily steered the conversation to antique books and collecting. He couldn’t help but notice how animated Cari became as they conversed. Beneath the idle chat, Jake wondered what she and her absent fiancé usually talked about.